Does your money keep you warm at night?

No, but if I stitch it together, it damn will. Benjamin Blanket now available at the low, low price of no human intimacy.

Annieism of the Day: Year of the Rabbit Edition

“Life becomes a tragedy when there is no comedy.” Happy Lunar New Year! May the Year of the Rabbit bring you health, wealth, peace, love, laughter, and joy!

Bodies: The Expedition (Royal Edition)

The most exciting World Tour we’ve ever known, the transport of Queen Elizabeth II’s body. Groupies threw flowers, Paddington Bears, and Marmalade sandwiches while the Commonwealth demanded that the monarchy return its usurped wealth. Dailymail reports Kanye West will make a hologram of Queen Elizabeth II to address the world at her funeral.