Tender

Introducing Tender, the latest sausage party disguised as a dating app. Available now in all app stores under different names.

Grumble

Introducing Grumble, the latest dating app where you can gripe about your crazy ex and tell your future exes to save the drama for their mamas. Available on all app stores under different names.

Netflix News

In a last ditch Hail Mary to acquire and retain subscribers, Netflix unveiled its newest service, Binge, a dating app for the “Netflix and Chill” crowd. Netflix’s proprietary algorithms will recommend personalized programming and other subscribers that are DTF after watching similar programming. Subscriptions start at $99.99 per month.

SeaHarmony

Introducing the most personalized Dramamine yet. Just simply answer 1,000 questions to be matched with participating pharmacies in another state. Boating made easy, breezy, beautiful. Cover hurl.

Plenty of Catfish

Could you please wire me $100,000?  My mother thew her back out in a freak cat feeding accident and is also being held ransom by kidnappers.  If I don’t pay them off, I will get deported and be unable to meet you this weekend at the Piggly Wiggly.

Singe

The latest dating app to burn you emotionally as well as financially. Available in all app stores under different names.