Parody for the people!

https://www.npr.org/2022/10/04/1126773469/onion-supreme-court-brief-author-interview

The Heirquarians

Blessed are the Heirquarians, for they shall inherit the mess Blessed are those who strive for the greater good, for God will help them Blessed are the weirdos, for they shall inspire us all Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied

All my problems are solved

Good bye stress? Check. Laser focus? Check. Daily energy? Check. Undeniable beauty? Check. Heavenly hair? Check. Glowing skin? Check. Unfortunately “Good bye climate change,” “Peace on Earth,” and “Justice” were all out of stock so I guess I’ll have to wait on those.