Metahearse

Mark Zuckerberg’s fever dream dead on arrival.

Introducing Kleptokurrency

The latest in cryptocurrency brought to you by the Kardashians and Jenners.

It’s Mercury Retrofade!

Brought to you by Kid ‘n Play!

I am a Kibbe verified Theatrical Melodramatic

My essences are “extra,” “emo,” and “sunset boulevard.”

Fumble

Introducing the latest dating app for your post-divorce, post-NFL life. Tom Brady approved!

Bodies: The Expedition (Royal Edition)

The most exciting World Tour we’ve ever known, the transport of Queen Elizabeth II’s body. Groupies threw flowers, Paddington Bears, and Marmalade sandwiches while the Commonwealth demanded that the monarchy return its usurped wealth. Dailymail reports Kanye West will make a hologram of Queen Elizabeth II to address the world at her funeral.

RIP HMTQ E2

Grimes and Elon Musk reveal the name of their newest child, RIP HMTQ E2. They plan to call the child “Hmm” for short. Just kidding (of course). Rest in peace, Queen Elizabeth II. Annie Woo-Mann salutes you for dedicating your life to service.

Introducing Kim Karkashgrab

The latest in celebrity Ponzi schemes (based on my opinion only and not on Annie or any actual facts) brought to you to by Kim Kardashian.

Join my Pringles Group!

Tired of Pringles? Ready to eat the right one? Join today and get Lay’s!