It’s Mercury Retrofade!

Brought to you by Kid ‘n Play!

My Corona

I have a knack for bad puns and living that Illionaire life. I don’t always get sick, but when I do, I use it as an opportunity to parody slogans. Dos Equis: 0, Corona: 1. Don’t stay thirsty my friends. Drink plenty of fluids, stay home, and rest.

Drizzyland

Introducing Drizzyland, the first bemusement park to open on Antarctica. Take a Nonstop ride on Drake Passage to get there. Fulfill all your Wants and Needs today!

Netflix News

In a last ditch Hail Mary to acquire and retain subscribers, Netflix unveiled its newest service, Binge, a dating app for the “Netflix and Chill” crowd. Netflix’s proprietary algorithms will recommend personalized programming and other subscribers that are DTF after watching similar programming. Subscriptions start at $99.99 per month.

Introducing Phlegminem

Phlegminem’s latest LP, “House of Chest Pain,” is going viral with these bangers. Licensed To Pill Spitting Up Spherics Homie I’ll Wet Ya Motherfucka I’m Ill, Not Sick And I’m Okay, But My Hack Sick Ill Ya Ya Ooze Yourself The Real Grim Plaguey My Neck, My Back, I’m Sick So Cut Me Some SlackContinue reading “Introducing Phlegminem”

Pun Star of The Day

Snoop Dogg serving up CALzone Broadus, the latest in Celebrity microwaveable turnovers. Available at all grocery stores and marijuana dispensaries not near you.

S.C.R.E.A.M.

Smash course rules everything around me. S.C.R.E.A.M. gets the honey. Holler, holler thrills ya’ll. Woo-Mann Clan ain’t nothing to fuck with!

Snoop Doggcoin

Introducing Snoop Dogg’s latest cryptocurrency you can use to buy his wine and weed among other things. Dogecoin and Elon Musk better watch out.

Anniemal Planet Episode 1: The Annieconda

The elusive Annieconda is a one-eyed snake that lives in the wilds of the Pantaloonia. These hardy creatures can survive in the harshest of environments and get around quite a bit. Herpestologists have learned that they don’t want none unless you got puns, hun. These anniemals are quite alluring in their natural habitat, but underContinue reading “Anniemal Planet Episode 1: The Annieconda”