Breaking News

Elon Musk revealed to be FSB Agent, Ilya Muscovite. He is currently in FBI custody awaiting arraignment.

RIP HMTQ E2

Grimes and Elon Musk reveal the name of their newest child, RIP HMTQ E2. They plan to call the child “Hmm” for short. Just kidding (of course). Rest in peace, Queen Elizabeth II. Annie Woo-Mann salutes you for dedicating your life to service.

Blood In The Streets: Layoff Edition

Introducing the latest in tone deaf video games in the aftermath of Uvalde. Players will face opponents such as Sundar Pichai, Mark Zuckerberg, Elon Musk, and many more as they fight for their jobs as well as their lives. Players will be armed with automatic machine guns because well this is America and can unlockContinue reading “Blood In The Streets: Layoff Edition”

Gangus Schwanz

The latest night club for current and aspiring absentee fathers. Spinning the latest in broken house music all night long.

How to bag Elon Musk

Dye your hair blonde if it isn’t naturally blonde Be a willowy white woman Read Ayn Rand’s books like your life depends on it Trauma bond over childhood wounds Tell him how much you “like” horses

Ass seen on TV

Bot wait, there’s more. Twitter deal in peril to distract the public from the fact (allegedly) Elon Musk engaged in a 3-way!

Snoop Doggcoin

Introducing Snoop Dogg’s latest cryptocurrency you can use to buy his wine and weed among other things. Dogecoin and Elon Musk better watch out.

Dystopia

Afghan baby girl sold for $500 by starving family – BBC News Donate: Support Children in Afghanistan | UNICEF USA