The last spicy thing to happen to my ass…

was preparing for my annual colonoscopy because hot sauce squirts

Unleash The Bowels Within!

Tony Robbins’ new diarrhea-of-the-mouth (DOM) series guaranteed to lighten your wallet and your guts. Kool-Aid not included, at least not yet.

Stalkhome Syndrome

Symptoms include obsessively pursuing and identifying with your captor, Cancer (not actual cancer, just having planets in the Cancer zodiac sign), diarrhea, and fatigue.

Instagram Influenzas

Symptoms include nausea, vomitting, diarrhea, body dysmorphia, eating disorders, vapidness, materialism, and egocentricity.