Coronavirus named Chief Growth Officer of Global Stategy and Operations.
I have a knack for bad puns and living that Illionaire life. I don’t always get sick, but when I do, I use it as an opportunity to parody slogans. Dos Equis: 0, Corona: 1. Don’t stay thirsty my friends. Drink plenty of fluids, stay home, and rest.
The news gives me annierhythms so I had stop reading and watching. Ignoramus on abyss!
Will the COVID-19 pandemic end? Will climate change burn the planet? Tune into the next episode tomorrow and the next day and the day after that…
Phlegminem’s latest LP, “House of Chest Pain,” is going viral with these bangers. Licensed To Pill Spitting Up Spherics Homie I’ll Wet Ya Motherfucka I’m Ill, Not Sick And I’m Okay, But My Hack Sick Ill Ya Ya Ooze Yourself The Real Grim Plaguey My Neck, My Back, I’m Sick So Cut Me Some SlackContinue reading “Introducing Phlegminem”
Sign my SpareChange.org petition to end the Facialist Tyranny.
Catapultism: An economic and political system in which a country’s existing trade and industry are launched into the void and in a state of complete freefall.
Singlehood is now an illness because apparently COVID-19 wasn’t enough! In order to beat this devasting disease, follow this 6-step process. Obsess over the fact that you’re single Listen to any dating coach on Youtube and take their advice Make online dating your whole life (It’s ok because you didn’t have a life to beginContinue reading “Breaking News”
Symptoms include obsessively pursuing and identifying with your captor, Cancer (not actual cancer, just having planets in the Cancer zodiac sign), diarrhea, and fatigue.
I’m ready to be the first hedgehog to win the Pulitzer Prize.