As Seen on TP

Can’t find Ozempic or Wegovy? Not even meth or cocaine? Well we have the perfect weight loss solution for you! Introducing Ozempiss, the latest in over-the-counter diuretics. Piss away the pounds today! Available at all retailers not near you.

Dougs are Brad

Don’t do Dougs. Do coke. Just not the new formula.

The best part of wakin’ up…

…is lots of blow in your cup. Soldiers Cocaine, brought to you by the ghost of Pablo Escobar. Pure Colombian.