Cloutrageous

Definition: 1. Shockingly bad or excessive clout chasing, 2. Very bold, unusual, and startling clout chasing. Please see social media.

Introducing the Sean John Tonometer…

…the latest in celebrity optometrical equipment. Get your eye air puff test while listening to Puff Daddy’s entire musical catalogue today! It can’t stop, won’t stop!

In celebrity news…

Demi Lovato reveals they/them are no longer the pronouns Demi uses. Co-opting marginalized groups for publicity/Attention Whoring are Demi’s preferred pronouns.

Join my colt…

at the Annie Woo-Mann Writing Academy. You can lead a force to fodder so you can’t make it think.

Drizzyland

Introducing Drizzyland, the first bemusement park to open on Antarctica. Take a Nonstop ride on Drake Passage to get there. Fulfill all your Wants and Needs today!

And The Razzie Award Goes To…

Amber Heard for her performance in the “Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard Defamation Trial.”

Am I working?

It’s a REMOTE possibility. I am more than likely watching the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard defamation trial and reading about the Blac Chyna/Kardashian/Jenner civil lawsuit.

Pun Star of The Day

Snoop Dogg serving up CALzone Broadus, the latest in Celebrity microwaveable turnovers. Available at all grocery stores and marijuana dispensaries not near you.

Fixed It: Episode 4

Bot and paid for by Kris Jenner.