How to make it to your 50 year wedding anniversary according to my dad

Bodies: The Expedition (Royal Edition)

The most exciting World Tour we’ve ever known, the transport of Queen Elizabeth II’s body. Groupies threw flowers, Paddington Bears, and Marmalade sandwiches while the Commonwealth demanded that the monarchy return its usurped wealth. Dailymail reports Kanye West will make a hologram of Queen Elizabeth II to address the world at her funeral.

RIP HMTQ E2

Grimes and Elon Musk reveal the name of their newest child, RIP HMTQ E2. They plan to call the child “Hmm” for short. Just kidding (of course). Rest in peace, Queen Elizabeth II. Annie Woo-Mann salutes you for dedicating your life to service.

Introducing Kim Karkashgrab

The latest in celebrity Ponzi schemes (based on my opinion only and not on Annie or any actual facts) brought to you to by Kim Kardashian.

Kenny G Talks Saxuality

Kenny G came out as an oboesexual in an interview with Oprah Winfrey today. He told Oprah, “I played being good at Sax for the longest time, but it’s not me. It’s time for me to admit to the world I love oboes and women with their own places.”

Join my Pringles Group!

Tired of Pringles? Ready to eat the right one? Join today and get Lay’s!