…only 20 sense. – Annie “Yogi Berra” Woo-Mann
Urine for a real sheet.
Much to the chagrin of wedding guests, Windows were installed on the porta potties resulting in lack of privacy. Jennifer Gates having extravagant New York wedding this weekend (nypost.com)
Don’t wanna be called by myself anymore. Call me Annie or you know, just call me.
Leave. You’re welcome.
Burger King introduced it’s newest burger, the Quarter Flounder, to compete with McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish. Little Mermaid toys not included.
How about fun reel? Imagination is my reality.
High Octane Vin Diesel coming to a gas station not near you.
Brought to you by Johnson & Johnson.
Must reborg. Android consciousness brought to you by Big Other.
My Sunday Brunch Persona.
Another opportunity to not take myself seriously.
Nah. Dysmorphia scrolling.
Dlisted | Madonna Flashed Her Butt To A Scandalized Jimmy Fallon On “The Tonight Show”. Contrary to popular belief, Madonna has always preferred to travel via the one trick pony than the ass because it is much more convenient and less stubborn.
Listerine, listerine. Your dental hygiene is obscene.
How Smokey feels after that bong hit.
Not quite as assinine as thought leadership.
Mark Zuckerberg is in a jam because he knows his defense is toast!
I guess “Secrets to Surviving Working Poverty” was never going to make the cover of People magazine.
The Big Bang killed the dinosaurs!
Off with their heads!
Please, please, please Bob Chapek.
Goop’s new chewables coming to a store not near you.
Also available in Instasmack and Tweaker.
He was so uptight and anal; his Virgo was in Uranus.
These are my new friends; Harry, Ralph, and Chuck. My cat introduced me to them. We have so much fun.
I can read and speak body language, but I need to learn how to write it.
So I broke up with Sven Gali. He was too controlling and weird. He wanted me to pose with his pig, Malion, all the time. I just couldn’t handle it. I thought my love life was doomed, but then I then I met Eric Sean. Things have been looking up ever since! We met atContinue reading “Love Life Update”
Face down, bottoms up. That’s the way I drink from my cup.
Artist Given $84K for Paintings Sends Blank Canvases, Titles Them ‘Take the Money and Run’ (yahoo.com) I salute you.
Nah. Annie told a bad joke.
Hannibal Lecter after a few glasses of Chianti and weed.
COVID-19 Pandemic: House.
“Facebook has weaponized childhood vulnerabilities in its ruthless pursuit of profits despite knowing the deep harm it causes. Facebook has evaded, misled and deceived.” – Senator Richard Blumenthal “IG stands for Instagram, but it also stands for instant greed.” – Senator Edward J. Markey Why Annie won’t be on Instagram and Facebook anytime soon. #NoInstagramKidsApp
“I inspire myself.” – Annie Woo-Mann
This is my new boyfriend. Sven. Sven Gali. And this is his pet pig Malion. He’s helping me discover my true self so I can realize my full potential.
So the documentary “American Juggalo” and “Smokey and the Bong Hit” EP were released in 2011 and 2018 respectively. Google: 1, Annie: 0 #NotSoCleverCheddar
Stay on the scene like a sax machine. I make sexy phones.
Coming to a theater not near you.
…it would be filled with hose.
So hot. It’s like she’s on fire!
Plot: Aunt comes over for her monthly visit and ruins niece’s white dress. Niece has an existential crisis and then changes her clothes. The End.
Beat that Bezos and Branson.
I take my sexting game to whole other level. Mrs. Slocombe would be so proud.
…but still have my vaccine card so it’s all good. Otherwise I’d really be screwed and not in the fun way.
So deep I can’t sleep.
A check’s a check. Get that money.
I like my pretension with a side of Pabst Blue Ribbon served cold in a Mason jar as well as a beer glass. Robin Leach approved.
…and apply yourself, you too can be a divorced single parent! #Goals
White suburban woman orders first ever Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte on the first day of Fall. It was actually delicious. My Basic Bitch Transformation is complete! Live, laugh, love am I trite?
Puerile: The only brand I trust to get me through the COVID-19 pandemic.
These wannabe video vixens were kicked to curb by 2 Live Crew and Sir Mix-A-Lot for being fake asses.
…I want Eddie Money.
…especially while wearing their birthday suits. This is an actual business card of Argentine Tango instructors I met and took lessons from pre-pandemic. They are excellent instructors and I love the artistry of the photograph.
Lucille Ball holds a special place in my heart. I watched a lot of old televsion shows on “Nick at Night” (a.k.a. Nickelodeon), including “I Love Lucy” growing up. The plot of nearly every single episode of “I Love Lucy” was Lucy scheming to perform in one of Ricky’s shows and yet each episode seemedContinue reading “Who is your favorite comedian?”
Exist Have an opinion Express said opinion
Get up all in your business. Tell you what’s wrong with your life. Give unsolicited advice on how to fix your life. Get paid fat stacks of cash. Rinse and repeat.
“Please don’t hold it against me.” Candles by Moses Martin, son of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow.
This Little Light of Mine: “This Little Light Of Mine” – YouTube Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien: Edith Piaf – Non, Je ne regrette rien – YouTube I’m Too Sexy: Right Said Fred – I’m Too Sexy (Original Mix – 2006 Version) – YouTube
I am an animal lover.
I just pun a lot. RIP Big Pun.
Because climate change. #seawalls
Coming to a theater not near you.
We’re so lit! We’re on fire!
Berkshire Halfway House for Wayward Billionaires. Here he is with his first client, Bill Gates, discussing house rules while dining at the on-site Dairy Queen. DQ Blizzard priveleges are revoked if residents return late, use drugs or alcohol on premises, and continue abusing their power.
My stripper name is Chastity because titties and irony.
I fixed the film title of “He’s Just Not That Into You” and turned it into a book.
Latest from Annie
I’m Annie Woo-Mann (not my government name of course) and it’s all in me. My project is to create a community of female creators, comedians, and collaborators because I love collectives, camaraderie, and letter “C” alliterations. As my last name implies, I woo men and welcome all regardless of gender identity and gender expression. This is an all-inclusive place (minus the free booze) for you to have fun. If this sounds good to you, please subscribe and contact me at Annie@AnnieWooMannProject.com.
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