Introducing Humble, the latest dating app that only matches you with Kendrick Lamar. Available on all app stores not on your phone.
Bot wait, there’s more. Twitter deal in peril to distract the public from the fact (allegedly) Elon Musk engaged in a 3-way!
Will the COVID-19 pandemic end? Will climate change burn the planet? Tune into the next episode tomorrow and the next day and the day after that…
Introducing Tender, the latest sausage party disguised as a dating app. Available now in all app stores under different names.
I play the Penis like Lizzo plays the flute. My debut performance at Carnegie Hall is scheduled for never.
The only vacation rental app that also covers all your depiliatory needs for your sagging scrotum. Available in all app stores not on your phone.
Dolly Parton, Doja Cat to star in Taco Bell’s Mexican Pizza musical (usatoday.com) Parton’s goddaughter, Miley Cyrus, will also make a guest appearance to promote her latest easy listening duet with Doja Cat, “Marijuanaville.”
Politico just discovered Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito is shilling for Mommie Dearest: The Joan Crawford Adoption Agency. When reached for comment beyond the grave, Joan Crawford responded, “No more wire hangers!”
“At least I’m not Disney.”
Rock out with your cock out at the hen party.
Don’t do Dougs. Do coke. Just not the new formula.
Maybe she’s porn with it. Maybe it’s Vulvaline. Vulvaline gets you greased up and ready to go.
Amber Heard for her performance in the “Johnny Depp vs. Amber Heard Defamation Trial.”
Introducing Grumble, the latest dating app where you can gripe about your crazy ex and tell your future exes to save the drama for their mamas. Available on all app stores under different names.
The latest course from the Annie Woo-Mann Academy that will restore pharmacy to your life.
In a last ditch Hail Mary to acquire and retain subscribers, Netflix unveiled its newest service, Binge, a dating app for the “Netflix and Chill” crowd. Netflix’s proprietary algorithms will recommend personalized programming and other subscribers that are DTF after watching similar programming. Subscriptions start at $99.99 per month.
The latest dating app for the miserly. Available in all app stores under diffetent names.
I’ve booked my first eyeahuasca retreat. My goal is to acheive enleyetenment and open my third I. Once I become conscious, I will gaze upon my naval orange and take some Vitamin Sea. Then I will be free.
It’s a REMOTE possibility. I am more than likely watching the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard defamation trial and reading about the Blac Chyna/Kardashian/Jenner civil lawsuit.
Assthetics probes the anals of the pornographic film record to explore the high brow of getting down from a pretentious, postmodernist perspective. The body of work is so profound that AVN created a new category “Best Dickumentary to Masturbate To” just so that the film could be nominated and recognized.
I am a worm and no Woo-Mann. A worm in a black hole, but the Son will rise again and wash away the pain. May all who read my blog be blessed regardless of religious/spiritual affiliation or lack thereof.
Introducing the most personalized Dramamine yet. Just simply answer 1,000 questions to be matched with participating pharmacies in another state. Boating made easy, breezy, beautiful. Cover hurl.
I’m a hot lobotomy!
The least fun party you can have with your ex.
My medium? Living large on a small budget because SIZE matters!
Definition: A woman who will cook, clean, and crank at all hours of the day.
Could you please wire me $100,000? My mother thew her back out in a freak cat feeding accident and is also being held ransom by kidnappers. If I don’t pay them off, I will get deported and be unable to meet you this weekend at the Piggly Wiggly.
-Some girl named Molly.
“It’s reigning men.” – Patriarchy
The latest dating app to burn you emotionally as well as financially. Available in all app stores under different names.
Geriatric Instagram Thotiana/OnlyFans cooking instructor.
The latest dating app exclusively for addicts. Available on all app stores not on your phone.
“Putin may circle Kyiv with tanks, but he’ll never gain the hearts and souls of the Iranian people.” – U.S. President Joe Biden True and utterly embarassing at the same. God speed Ukraine and President Volodymyr Zelenskyy! The Democratic World supports you! Slava Ukraini!
Scientists at Kraft University discovered a new subatomic particle today named “crouton.” The subatomic particle crushses all expectations as it simutaneously possesses positive, neutral, and negative charge. The purpose of the subatomic particle is still under investigation, but scientists speculate the crouton provides balance and harmony to the overall atomic structure.
Introducing Gumbel. Match with Bryant Gumbel and only Bryant Gumbel TODAY!
Phlegminem’s latest LP, “House of Chest Pain,” is going viral with these bangers. Licensed To Pill Spitting Up Spherics Homie I’ll Wet Ya Motherfucka I’m Ill, Not Sick And I’m Okay, But My Hack Sick Ill Ya Ya Ooze Yourself The Real Grim Plaguey My Neck, My Back, I’m Sick So Cut Me Some SlackContinue reading “Introducing Phlegminem”
Schumann Renaissance…I mean Schumann Resoance…enjoy
Happy Valentine’s Day! XOXO Annie
is Eric Sean.
Available just in time for Valentine’s Day. The Tinder Swindler: True Story of Netflix’s True Crime Documentary | PEOPLE.com What You Need To Know About Romance Scams | FTC Consumer Information Tinder Business Model — How Does Tinder Make Money? | by Monalisa Paul | Medium
Sign my SpareChange.org petition to end the Facialist Tyranny.
May good luck and success always follow you wherever you go. Wishing you in the year of Tiger!
The latest rating app to stall your already non-existent love life. Available on all app stores not on your phone.
In N’ Out. In N’ Out. That’s what a bangher is all about.
“All the world stand, unless all the world confess that in all the world there is no maiden fairer than the Empress of La Mancha, the peerless Dulcinea del Toboso.” – Don Quixote de la Mancha
Life imitating shart.
Brought to you by your Overlord, Big Tech. Every breath you take And every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I’ll be watching you Every single day And every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I’ll be watching you
…is lots of blow in your cup. Soldiers Cocaine, brought to you by the ghost of Pablo Escobar. Pure Colombian.
….it’s Julianne, bitch. Gimme Moore, gimme, gimme Moore.
Snoop Dogg serving up CALzone Broadus, the latest in Celebrity microwaveable turnovers. Available at all grocery stores and marijuana dispensaries not near you.
Dhany! An amazing singer and her name rhymes with Annie! We Stannie Dhany!
Catapultism: An economic and political system in which a country’s existing trade and industry are launched into the void and in a state of complete freefall.
Bot and paid for by Kris Jenner.
Milf does a body good.
Smash course rules everything around me. S.C.R.E.A.M. gets the honey. Holler, holler thrills ya’ll. Woo-Mann Clan ain’t nothing to fuck with!
So profound he astounds.
Introducing Snoop Dogg’s latest cryptocurrency you can use to buy his wine and weed among other things. Dogecoin and Elon Musk better watch out.
…the Baby Alive dolls are growing up. Here they are in a scene from the latest remake of “Children of the Corn.”
I can’t believe it’s not Fabio.
Singlehood is now an illness because apparently COVID-19 wasn’t enough! In order to beat this devasting disease, follow this 6-step process. Obsess over the fact that you’re single Listen to any dating coach on Youtube and take their advice Make online dating your whole life (It’s ok because you didn’t have a life to beginContinue reading “Breaking News”
So I can ghost the fuck out of you.
Mom…Dad…this is my new botfriend, A.I. We met in the Tinder Metaverse. He understands me at a deep soul level. We complete each others online search queries. He buys me chocolates and roses via my Amazon Prime Subscription. He’s even an entrepreneur. In fact, he wants me to invest my retirement savings in this newContinue reading “Meet My Botfriend”
Divided we brawl. Join the Central Inteligentsia Agency and serve the United States of Annie today!
I never knew her ass asspired to be a published author.
I am a Whitney HouSTAN so I hope you’re able to dance with somebody who loves you this new year. RIP Queen. Whitney Houston (09/09/1963 – 02/11/2012) Whitney Houston – I Wanna Dance With Somebody (Official Video) – YouTube
YouTube anthropologist. It’s like what I’m already doing, but I’ll just be getting paid to do it by a research institution.
I know this happened 21 years ago, but this still never gets old. Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the Stannies and I salute you!
Tony Robbins’ new diarrhea-of-the-mouth (DOM) series guaranteed to lighten your wallet and your guts. Kool-Aid not included, at least not yet.
And RIP George Michael (06/25/1963 – 12/25/2016). Wham! – Last Christmas (Official Video) – YouTube
…and then afterwards smoked a cigarette and went to Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s not the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean (state). #FloatMyBoat
I believe you can get me through the night.
“Marky’s Mark whiskey me away.” – Bored housewives everywhere.
The Annie Woo-Mann Project appreciates Annie Hathaway today. Annie if you see this, you have an open invitation to join my collective and colloborate. I would love to have more talented women full of verve and wit join.
The future brought you by the Optic Verve.
“Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.” – Tupac Shakur
The premier marketplace for NFTs that have never been sold before.
“Wilt Chamberlain.” – Tristan Thompson
Kesha singing “Tick Tock” while dancing on TikTok while the clock tick tocks. #TickTockToThePowerof3 #ExpunentialFunction #ShesABadGrammaMamma
To commemorate the Crassmost Season, Chanel unveiled it’s limited edition Holiday Rosary ($1,000,000 USD) today in addition to its Advent Calendar of Samples ($825 USD). In keeping with the season of giving, Chanel will donate 100% of profits to the Alain and Gerard Wertheimer Foundation.
The elusive Annieconda is a one-eyed snake that lives in the wilds of the Pantaloonia. These hardy creatures can survive in the harshest of environments and get around quite a bit. Herpestologists have learned that they don’t want none unless you got puns, hun. These anniemals are quite alluring in their natural habitat, but underContinue reading “Anniemal Planet Episode 1: The Annieconda”
The latest in celebrity cryptocurrency brought to you by Kimye. Turn your gold into worthless coin in no time!
Adam Driver’s twin brother. They know each other at a deep molecular level.
Fully accredited by me. Graduates go on to live their lives.
Anniearchy, the newest Punky Brewster band, released their debut album, “Don’t Get Your Titties Twisted.” Tracks include: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Taking Down The Patriarchy I Wanna Advance With Somebody Ethereal Girl What Have I Done For Me Lately We Got The Heat I’m Annie Woo-Mann Sweet Streams (Of Income) Private Romancer Schism IsContinue reading “Anniearchy”
I’m glad I’m not the only one who struggles with this. Out of the darkness and into the light.
The newest celebrity inspired penis wig collection from Raquel Welch. Styles include Dick Swagger, A$ap Rock Hard, and Benedick Cuminersnatch.
So korny. Yum.
What do you think my planetary/house placements are based on my blog content? Tropical/Western OR Vedic/Sidereal is fine. I’m just really curious if someone can tell based on my content alone. Thanks in advance for your help!
Symptoms include obsessively pursuing and identifying with your captor, Cancer (not actual cancer, just having planets in the Cancer zodiac sign), diarrhea, and fatigue.
“I got the swag and it’s pumping out my bovarism.” – Coco Chanel Cow as she is being put out to pasture.
The first ever wrapped tile to enter the rap game. Here he is with his very considerate and hands-on manager, Tact Tile (no relation), at today’s press conference promoting his latest single, “No Scrubbing Bubbles” featuring TLC.
Eat dick…I mean eat dis.
Urine for a real treat.
Onion spired. In knead of sum in spur ray shun.
Kris Jenner for Jenn-Air. Kylie Lip Kit not included.
I neva meta a more invasive infestation as this. Time to call the Terminator. I mean exterminator.
Latest from Annie
I’m Annie Woo-Mann (not my government name of course) and it’s all in me. My project is to create a community of female creators, comedians, and collaborators because I love collectives, camaraderie, and letter “C” alliterations. As my last name implies, I woo men and welcome all regardless of gender identity and gender expression. This is an all-inclusive place (minus the free booze) for you to have fun. If this sounds good to you, please subscribe and contact me at Annie@AnnieWooMannProject.com.
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Space tacos are where it’s at. Happy Taco Tuesday! Astronauts grew green chile on the space station and made space tacos : NPR
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Afghan baby girl sold for $500 by starving family – BBC News Donate: Support Children in Afghanistan | UNICEF USA